Friday, April 21, 2006

snivellings

thanks for all your comments guys.

we've been talking about what to do. still don't know.

rang the psychiatrist this morning and asked her if she really thought it would be in Laurie's interest (re his mental health) to go back to the school rather than try a new one. she's with the others on this - they all think it would be better for him to go back. told her about the charming kids calling him names last night. She tripped out the usual - he needs to learn to deal with it - give him techniques. I sometimes wonder if they understand that you have a brain - der - we've been trying to give him techniques to handle bullies since he started school!!!

maybe I could do with some; )

my main concern is that one of the people assessing him for aspergers could advise me to take him to noisy places. What part of 'it hurts my ears doesn't she get'. I interpreted this as her either not understanding enough about the senory overload stuff, or implying that he's making it up! tim was kinder and suggested that maybe they meant to de-sensitise him. I am aware that there are some therapies that may help but in a controlled and specially built environment. I hardly think a train station or supermarket counts as that. this is making me very worried about the help we are going to get.

rang the psychologist for alternative schools - on annual leave now and he is the only person who can advise. I've asked before anyway and he always says we're at the best school. god help us.

have to ring the headmistress to arrange a time to visit the building today. tim had to go into work so we can't talk it through - but this weekend we are going to have to make a definite decision - this drifting is killing me.

a few people have suggested getting signed off with stress. having a problem with this one (ms. I can cope with anything syndrome). do have to ring work though as I'm expected back next week - just need to get to the point where I can actually talk and not just cry down the phone.

sarah just rang and made me feel better :) you all make me feel better :)

my new camera arrived at last so here are my fab sequined shoes to help raise a few smiles. they look like magic slippers - two heel clicks and....

new camera nice shoes

4 comments:

afp763389 said...

the sun is born underground

Kym said...

I agree, how can an expert say send him to the very thing that is upsetting and unnerving to him. They certainly cant relate to anything Laurie says or experiences if they haven't experienced it personally either themselves or their child! How can the psychiatrist say send him back. Don't give him a whole new chance or kick at something new? It really can't be much worse than what he experiences now can it? How much time has she/he spent with Laurie to determine this is the best approach?
Give him the techniques tag line is crap too. Been there done that and still have a child with self esteem as low as his ankles.
When you look inside your heart I hope you find the awnsers you need.

Sarah said...

Agree with everyone, including Kym re the "techniques" thing (I notice she didn't actually tell you about any new techniques above and beyond the ones you already taught him- if she does, turn them on her!)- this really infuriates me. What happened to children who bully being held accountable and taught that is is wrong to bully (and the parents being held accountable too- if the kids were caught stealing or whatever surely they would do something).. those kids go to his school too don't they? And noone is mentioning the homophobic/gendered nature of the bullying. You don't have to be gay to be bullied in a homophobic way- anyone who is "different" can be on the receiving end. The hypocrisy in this country around dealing with bullying astounds me. I really feel like you and Laurie are being scapegoated for being different. Anyway, good luck with making some decisions this weekend. I know you'll feel stronger (if not "better") once you make a decision. And believe me Lou, even if you feel like you can't win, that you can't protect Laurie- when he grows up and looks back on this what he will remember is that you accepted him and loved him for who he is, that you fought for him, that you supported him, that you believed him and validated his experience. Most of us would love to have had parents who did that- that in itself will give him the bedrock of self-esteem that he needs to deal with life, even if he also has after-effects from the bullying and misery.

Joker The Lurcher said...

couldn't agree more with what sarah says - once we decided the school and the LEA were wrong and we were going to stop supporting them (in what was not only bullying by the children but also by the teaching and support staff) things got a whole lot better. owen knew we were on his side which gave him a lot more strength and stopped us being ripped in half. at the end of the day he is just one of a large number of kids to them; he will remember you being on his side against an unfriendly world long after they have forgotten his name.