refusings

the steiner school didn't offer us a place...

they don't have the staffing resources to cater for Laurie's special needs.

That's fair enough.

so now we take a few steps backwards...

just the thought of having to back to the education authority has raised all those earlier feelings again. we haven't told Laurie yet.

what alot of people in scotland say is 'what's for you wont go by you' so we'll go with that one.

a bit of a rethink planned for the weekend...

this one seems appropriate for today
the universe now beckons...

the universe now beckons
and Man, too, must take His place...
just a few last fleeting seconds
to wander in the waste
and the children who were ourselves move on
reincarnation now stills its perfected song
and at last we are free of the bonds of creation
van der graaf generator

wobblings

been away for work this week so didn't get much chance to blog

we have had a hard week

tim had his degree show - digital animation mphil so he had to get all the animations ready, deal with external examiners, breaking bad news to some students and generally having to work all hours...

he now has some relief and the show was excellent - so he is really proud of them all

I had an abcess on my tooth so was going around looking like a chipmunk and managing the pain

laurie has been a bit unsettled - probably due to us

we're all relieved it's the weekend!

my flickr pal kym is having a hard time so made her a picture

it's about having to cope with big changes
called influences that modify the being

waitings

still waiting for psychiatric team report

still waiting to hear back from steiner school

good job we've developed patience beyond the usual in the last few months

this one is called perverse

Yes, though you may think me perverse, if it were proposed to me to dwell in the neighborhood of the most beautiful garden that ever human art contrived, or else of a Dismal Swamp, I should certainly decide for the swamp.
Henry David Thoreau

so would I

sensings

make school make sense


http://www.nas.org.uk/msms
support the campaign...

I got a pack for schools in the post today - going to send it to the headmistress; ))

still haven't heard from the steiner school yet - but I wasn't at home on thursday/friday they may have rang while I was out.

still haven't had our report re the diagnosis which I'm really looking forward to reading.

having a strange and wierd wobbly day today - unexpected but probably just a bit of backlash from the last few months...

steinerings

we went for our interview with the Glasgow Steiner School yesterday. The most amazing thing about it is that laurie says he feels 10/10 about it. He has not felt 10/10 about anything for as long as I can remember!!!!!

We use numbers to guage feelings because it is the best way for laurie to explain how he feels about something and I know his scaling system so well that I can accurately guage what his reaction to something is. (Is that a split infinative - I know I do them alot).

to boldly go.....

anyway Tim had a good old laugh at the interview because they said that laurie wasn't allowed to watch TV or play computers!!!!!!! he said my expression was priceless...

alert alert - this is boy who is learning german, chess , geography and history online. This is the boy who takes digital photos, manipulates them and makes art!!!

so on the one hand we have 10/10 and on the other we have - change this family forever!!!!


we'll try it anyway....

Tim said that I looked so shocked bacause I wouldn't be able to spend so much time on flickr!!!!

So did I get my new camera lens for my birthday or did I get a book.

Hey I got a book

but so funny - the book is about the psychology of internet addiction. I think he's trying to tell me something!!!!!

this one is called only shine


I only shine
with you
you see
the reflection of yourself
mirrored between the two

solar returnings

it is an hour away from my 45th birthday..

I feel so good about it too.

Laurie's present to me is to dress up in anything I ask and pose for photo's, plus massages (which he is very good at) and probably helping me cook dinner. How cool that he has just hit the wanting to be independent in the kitchen.

You know that thing where you spend years thinking - god I look forward to the day he can bring me a cup of tea in bed - getting close....

other presents to be revealed. I really need a computer as I'm running out of photo storage space.

also need a new lens because the standard lens with the canon 350d (which is a fab camera) is a bit soft and doesn't focus properly...

will probably get books; )))

which is cool.

me and lozzie have been a 'bit under the weather' - terribly british way of saying I feel crap, bit of a temperature and our legs don't work.

photo of the day...
called exterminate


british flickerites seem to like it

Laurie loves the daleks and so do I.

happy birthday norma - drama queen, librarian, woman of no labels, woman who sometimes needs labels, imposter, blogger, logger, flogger and godamm wonder woman (sometimes - after a few glasses of wine), learner and mother

thankings

not sure if all you guys who offer support and ideas look back but i often reply in comments...

so for those who may have missed my thanks/replys

VERY BIG THANKS - sure we are just at the beginning so stay with us

but I keep looking at my beautiful son in wonder and i am totallly convinced that asd is more a gift than anything else

and I am itching to convince the world...

this is called close
its about what happens when we connect...

bloggings

not an inspirational title but the thing I feel like talking about...

how interesting that blogging has been a MOST (big shout) important mechanism for me in the last few months.

I've kind of been into diarying but not as much as others. i love writing but get incapacitated by the GREAT novel ( so original norma/lou).

so why has this blog worked for me in a way that I never anticipated?????

because it's real ---- my need is real-----the listeners/readers/audience is real

how strange that the reader maketh the blog kinda thing...

writing my previous entry - the YES we got the diagnosis entry... was really important to me.

i've mentioned this to a few friends lately and it is clear that they don't get it. Why on earth would writing such intimate details to the whole world be OK.

i don't know the answer/I love the answer/

it's very private...
it's so public...

and so those fantastic ironies/contradictions work well for me - particularly now.

I'm a blogger/flogger of stories/logger of lives

and a gemini with libra rising so contradictions work and the photo of the day will be....

torture garden

The universe appears to me like an immense, inexorable torture-garden.... Passions, greed, hatred, and lies; law, social institutions, justice, love, glory, heroism, and religion: these are its monstrous flowers and its hideous instruments of eternal human suffering.
Octave Mirbeau

someone save me...

celebratings

we have our diagnosis

we are all celebrating the news because for us it is a positive thing

this is called how do you make sense of the world



can't put a bigger version on this page as it messes up the right hand side of the page. The words say
you have no idea
what it means to be gifted with aspergers syndrome

see the National Autistic Society web site to read about the make school make sense campaign. I've written a letter to Alan Johnson, secretary of state for education and skills asking him to support the campaign.

treblings

OK

I know I should be in bed...

but Lozzie did some good work today

here is his most popular - he said it's probably because its colourful...

well it would stand out in my present photostream anyway.

Of course loads of fab folk on flickr have resonded already and he is very pleased..

hey thanks guys...

he did the photo, the manipulation and the mosaic while I made tea!!!

it's called the grid

we don't do very imaginative titles: )

doublings

two entries today

I put a couple of self portraits into flickr

they are scary and honest (as opposed to the previous high contrast, therefore hide your crap skin, photos)

so it will be interesting to see the different reactions

what is really a wierd though is that I called this one just norma

- as if norma was real...



you know what - I'm starting to love norma

I'm staring to love being norma

maybe I should change my blog name to being norma...

recappings

I went away last week and it was so good not to worry and to be able to focus on work. I got back to a fantastic response....

most enthusiastic greeting was from hector the wonderdog, closely followed by the other two boys. seems they were all really pleased to have me back but had missed me too. they got on fine and had a good time.

good relief...

got lots of extra things to do at work - think I need it to help me focus - hope I can handle it but have developed a more organised approach which is helping...

boring work stuff though

let's have a photo...

it's called ruination - I've been feeling kind of dark and listening to old prog rock stuff and my photos seem dark but actually they are really positive and you may have to be in the same space to get that. some fab people on flickr also see the dark stuff in a positive light




but I have also been doing some dark photos of laurie and it seems that people really don't like children presented as other than happy and carefree and innocent

I can appreciate an innocent child shot as much as the rest but I really do strongly believe that we need to engage with the pain too - then we can appreciate the joy

here is one that I love but only my philosophical type contacts seem to like.

it's called all the other fish fear you


and has this quotation from a van der graaf generator song

so you live in the bottom of the sea and you kill all that come near you...
but you are very lonely, because all the othe fish fear you...
and you crave companionship and someone to call your own
because for the whole of your life you've been living alone.
Van der graaf generator
H to HE who am the only one, 1970

its june 2nd tomorrow and at 11.30 we find out if we have a diagnosis

I can't believe that we are half way through the year - I'm 45 next week

it deserves a celebration....