happenings

at last

I feel able to blog...

disabled (I chose that word carefully) by my guilt and terrible state of mind I was unable to post for the last two days.

How very interesting - blogging as a reflection of the darkness of your soul... maybe I'll muse more on that in a future blog but it does very well reflect the 'forelock tugging' Lou that Tim sometimes gently laughs at.

So there we were...

faced with the big decision - to return to the existing school or try out a new one. our weekend was wrought with angst.. I set a deadline (as I am wont to do)...

we struggled, prevaricated, cogitated and eventually...

wimped out...

can you believe it (I can hear a few gasps)...

but wait...

so we decided that the new school in exactly the same format as the old one wouldn't work.
we cant go to the Steiner school that we do like until august.
we have to get by till august.

so we decided to go with the flow and try to send him back (bear with me guys cause there is a temporarily happy ending here).

So we broke the news to laurie and he dealt with it well - understanding that we had to make it through this term and then all would be better!!!!

Laurie and I walked down to the school on Monday and went inside the building ( the psychiatrist somehow felt this was really significant). I knew it wasn't because it wasn't that hard for him to do. It's not the building that causes him pain - it's the CHILDREN.

Tuesday (today) we dutifully followed instructions and turned up to have a chat with his teacher. He was cool about that and took some photos of his flickr art and of hector to show his teacher.

Oh no ----- ambush

unprepared and without ammunition we were caught in a room for an hour with the bloody headmistress and his teacher...

for an hour we were treated to a monologue about behaviour, rules and her authority.

Laurie understood about 40% of what she said which I did find an amazing percentage because whilst it was happening I estimated 20%. God she was so tedious... The teacher didn't get a word in edgeways.

Apparently the kids all call him a girl because of his hair (well blow me down!). Of course they don't mean to be horrid. They didn't realise - ah bless!!!!

What about the 'Laurie the loser' nickname - oh well some of the children said that when Laurie didn't 'get his own way' in group work and got upset he would call himself a loser ---

as I said in my reply to their exclusion report 'it is hardly surprising that he refers to himself in this way given that he has been persistantly called this for over a year by his peers' (mummy rant mode coming on)

so I sat and let her harangue him. She made him cry (she made me cry). she made us both very very angry...

we left saying we'd come into school tomorrow at 9.00.



OK so you can kick us when we are down but don't think we will lie down forever. I feel bad that I let her do that to us today. Where is the lioness that sarah mentions?


They paid no heed to his needs. They did not acknowledge his sensory overload issues.
I mentioned that the children banged on the tables when the teacher had an important announcement. I said that laurie did not understand this and that it hurt his ears.

I told them that I had suggested to laurie that it may be intended to be like a drumroll. His teacher said that it was and he was prepared to change this. The headmistress said that it was a standard method for getting the attention of children and to focus them to hear important announcements.

I let him and all kids with sensory overload down - I didn't say ' this would have the opposite effect on children who had sound sensitivity issues'. She told the teacher she would talk to him later and it was clear she was not prepared to change this practice for one kid - particularly one who blatently defies her and doesn't recognise her authority.

by the way woman - I did mention the words autistic spectrum disorder. He is being assessed for asd you know...

Well the lioness is prowling now and so is Tim the lion.

We are not sending him back...

they, and the educational psychologist and the child psychiatric team can all take a flying leap.

we know it is not OK to send him back.

The school now know that we are appealing against the exclusion ( and she has all her guns out) - met someone who works in the school who agreed re asd but couldn't talk about it with me. How neat it would be for them if they 'bent over backwards to accomodate' laurie and then had the opportunity to exclude him again before the hearing.

so bend over mrs headmistress... if I was any good at cartoons I would do one...

we are standing together on this one. We don't quite know how we will do this yet but we know we will.

Here is picture of a lioness to prove it...

and I finally did the unthinkable and am signed off on sick leave for stress for two weeks.

relief...

strugglings

When you've always been strong and feel that nothing could get you it strikes hard that the world can suddenly turn upside down. And even when all of your friends and family support you it is so easy to feel alone when confronted by the mightly faceless powerful "LEA" of wherever you live.

So our headmistress has garnered her powerbase and turned against us - the educational psychologist, a key supporter ( but employed by her) and the bloody faceless LEA. And although we know our son better than anyone, we are left doubting ourselves, but only for moments. And you wonder how the less powerful cope - but when you fight for your child maybe all mothers become articulate in some way.

I have an amazing man to help me, who believes in my son and me. He gives his all to make the world understand my son and for that, on mothers day, I give an honourary mention to him.

and this is the man. In flickr its called
puma in the barren wilderness



This fab Pablo Neruda poem acompanies the photo:

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent, starving I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disquiets me, I search the liquid sound of your steps all day.
I hunger for your sleek laugh, For your hands the color of the wild grain, I hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails, I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.
I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your loveliness, The nose, sovereign of your arrogant face, I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,
And I walk hungry, smelling the twilight Looking for you, for your hot heart, Like a puma in the barren wilderness.

Thanks to my friends who daily offer support to Laurie on flickr. Thanks to this man.
And thanks to Laurie.

Tomorrow we are adding a new member to the family - currently called patch but probably to become Stanley. A dog - photo to follow. We struggle on...

bufferings

yes I need some buffers.

I've been bashed around a bit in the last few days and I need some cotton wool.

My son has been excluded from school - his behaviour is unacceptable....

he has had a 'meltdown' (common terminology in the world of aspergers syndrome)

there is construction work going on at his schools - this overloads his senses. the school report no undue noise levels. I finally have an URGENT referral to the childrens psychiatric department. Well what does it take...

swearing at a teacher
exclusion from school
saying you want to die
self harm
suicide

"it could take 3 months to see someone" - well actually this is just not good enough.

I still don't have a diagnosis - this makes me vulnerable.

But hey - don't mess with this mum.

I am on his case... and I will never give up on him...



you should see his photos on flickr...