home learnings

we are now really immersed in the home learning and are trying a new routine where each day we do one hour of intense one to one work followed by one hour of self-directed learning. The rest of the time tends to be flexible and of course home learning happens all the time wherever we happen to be.

On this blog I hope to engage with some of the common questions that arise whenever we tell people that we do home learning. These will not be knew to anyone who does this. Every taxi driver in Glasgow has an opinion, as does every family member, shop assistant, and health care professional.

It's almost as if choosing to opt out is a slur on their choice not to. We got harangued by a taxi driver yesterday for being different and opting out - can't say I always deal well with this yet so we just adopted a perky 'we're happy with our decision' response. Was tempted to garotte him from behind as he spouted, ranted and shouted (which was really not OK for Laurie) but decided it was best to make sure we actually arrived at out destination...

what really annoys me though i that I'm so well conditioned that I still gave him a good tip - doh!!! get a grip girl - maybe next time.

One of the key questions that people ask is 'what do you do about socialisation'. Of course this question stems from the basic misconception that sitting in a classroom with 30 other people of the same age, surviving the chaos of the dining room, the harsh playground and the enforced collaborative learning activities all result in positive social experiences. Well I do admit it can teach you deal with negative social experiences and may sometimes be positive.

Laurie may have an ASD but like many kids with Aspergers he craves connection with other children. Our solution is to connect to other families that home educate. I am a member of several forums that share information
Schoolhouse
HE Special
Education Otherwise

The Scottish group - Schoolhouse has a very active mailing list and the level of sharing and information exchange and support is amazing (as is the HE special group - vital for anyone with a child with different wiring). From the Scottish those who live in Glasgow have started regular group meetings and activities. We have a two hour sport session at Kelvin Sports Hall on Mondays and a two hour activity session in Hyndland on Thursdays. We have also been on several museum visits and workhops and we're off to a castle next wednesday.

Laurie is loving it (although we often pay for it later as it does overtimulate him dramatically). Sometimes we have to cancel all activities the day after as he recovers, but the best thing is that he has a new best friend. They talk endlessly about star wars and play football together.

So there we are - question number one dealt with - are you happy now people? Or are you still really a bit bothered at our radical decision...

how dare we dare to be different...

perfectings

Well if I'm not an aspie then I guess I'm a fairly obsessive perfectionist. This seems to be affecting most parts of my life.

In my work I get quite stressed out if I can't do my job really well - which I often can't due to the sheer amount of what I need to get done. This does not make me happy. I see Laurie having the same reaction to his homework. If every letter of his sentence is not technically perfect then he has to rub it out and start again. requires the patience and understanding of a saint...

At home we've been preparing our flat to put up for sale (for six months!!!!!!!!)

so how come even with a for sale sign up outside the bloody bath surround was still not done...

so with the prospect of viewings tomorrow I had to find a fabulous hero to come and fix it at no notice and godammit I found one on the internet.

now I know why I got rid of the telephone directories.

I rang the number at about 11.00 and got a lovely woman who understood my plight, got her man on the case and by 4.30 today it was done. Here are the details for my hero joiner and handyman who did a fab job...

so now at 9.30pm I feel that I need to prime the wood, and give it two coats of eggshell... what part of 'you don't need to do this' can't you understand Lou?

I also made Tim spend the whole weekend painting, tidying and cleaning. I even re-stained all the floors in the flat (no mean feat at all).

But at last the flat is looking splendiferous and is up for sale. So if you know of anyone who really needs a fantastic 5 bedroom apartment in the upcoming, and very trendy, southside of Glasgow then please call in and have a look.

Just give me enough warning to

• clean the floors, cooker and mirrors
• put all the rugs down which have been taken up because tammy still hasn't sorted out her bladder
• put new cream duvets with no dog hairs or paw prints on the beds
• put the air freshners on and then turn them off in time not to be overpowering
• turn all the lights on
• carefully position all the shiny display type things to make it look as if we are actually really interesting

At least I didn't give in to Tim's idea of leaving posy design magazines on the coffee table - a step too far for me....

the picture of my fab kitchen (designed by me and supplied by ikea) links to the estate agent website - for those who'd like a nosey...

youtubings

yes another youtube photo montage...

it isn't going to change the world but hell - someone might see it and think just a little bit longer...

returnings

Well only 7 months since my last post...

I think the build up to the big Make School Make Sense Campaign by the NAS, and the commitment and energy it required, coupled with 8 months of exhausting emotional strain just took effect.

We needed a break... and we've had one

And we're back!

How easy it is to lose momentum - not that I haven't been busy.

The photography continues - and I've been really busy getting into film and continuing my toy camera addiction. I have just got a new/old hasselblad (she is gorgeous) and I'm about to really statr experimenting with that.

But what people really want to know about is how Laurie's doing...

Well all I can say is he is doing incredibly well. Still at the fantastic school in Govan. He still has some lovely pals and is enjoying school as a whole experience. I know - how amazing is that?

I'll update more on him later which will include new found passions for acting and horse riding, whilst continuing the writing, chess and obsessive yu-gi-oh and pokemon stuff.

I am working on a new website to show my photos and have just made my first Youtube video. Have one on autism planned but this one is just about people...
remember my name....

drama queenings

yaaay

it's make school make sense launch day in Scotland.

there has been loads of press interest and it tied in with an HMI report also launched today about the shoddy state of affairs in Scotland.

we arrived at school this morning - just in time cause I got lost trying to avoid the traffic (which really stressed laurie out) to have all his classmates run over and say they'd seen us on tv. we were surprised cause we don't watch breakfast tv.

they'd put a short version on (the one that is currently on the website). it didn't include Laurie speaking but the evening one was slightly extended to include a bit of his interview about them letting him have quiet space. he was pleased about this. the video link (to the top right of the page will be there for a day).

I just hope the previous headmistress was watching!!!! we were really well behaved and all the time never mentioned which school we had all the difficulty with. took a fairly positive approach. we were in the Glasgow herald education supplement today but no photo.

then tonight had a photographer around to take shots to accompany an article and interview in tomorrow's scotsman newspaper.

we had a quiet halloween and to avoid the trick or treaters we went to the cinema together.

tim has just walked in through the door, back from korea with presents - so have to stop blogging!

really wanted to include a smiley pic for today (and did post one on flickr) but just prefer this one...

performings

wow - what a day

in addition to normal work and the online tutoring course today was a mass of phone calls to sort out media stuff for the National Autistic Society 'Make Schools Make sense Campaign'

Tomorrow is the big launch in Scotland. I was supposed to go to Holyrood (Scottish Parliament) but can't cause Tim is still in Korea. The school press photos didn't materialise yet but the BBC came round to our flat tonight to record somthing for tomorrows regional news (BBC Scotland).

It was very rushed, highly nerveracking and I'm sure I looked like an idiot. Laurie was really nervous and, of course, the big bright light didn't help his autistic sensibilities. We had just got back from school pick-up so didn't even have time to brush hair, check wobbly bits, etc...

he did brilliantly though and got to have a feel for the fancy gear...



not only that he has got a part in the christmas pantomime as the king in a sleeping beauty performance. he is so chuffed (poncy british word meaning very very happy).

All this star stuff may go to his head.

The TV bit will be on BBC Scotland tomorrow night - 31st at 6.30. It will also be on the web site for about a day or so.

poor old tim missed it all so we'll have to tape it for him. he's back late tomorrow night... hector the wonderdog will be beside himself as he's been pining away...

meanings

been a while...

we had a holiday last week - a few days out and visits and lots of home time. nice...

school update...
still no response from the education services since I wrote a letter asking them how we go about getting a "co-ordinated support plan" (new laws in Scotland mean that we need one of these to get the appropriate support. we have no idea whether Laurie will be going to a school in August or not - so can't prepare him - great - really helpful for a kid with Aspergers.

We suspect that we may have to continue home educating and that will mean plan c - getting an au pair to live in to cover when we're not here - not as an educator but as a companion and carer.

Failing that it's plan Z - give up work and home - which will take 3 months notice and selling...

Ah well time will tell.

life update...
In the meantime Laurie has been fine and fairly happy. Tonight though he was having a bath (usually a really good time for him) and I heard him crying. I asked what was up and he said he was crying because he didn't know what would happen if we all died. It went on for a while including questions like -

"what is the meaning of life"

"what's the point of living if we're all going to die"

"what would happen if you two die and leave me alone"

"humans will be left on a dark cold planet" - hmmmn

It was a bit tough - did the cycle of life thing, the part of the universe thing, there's no point in worrying thing!

poor lad - he thinks too much.

just like me.

done a new series on flickr - a story in six pictures which I really like and aims to show positives of Aspergers and some misconceptions - here are two of them.

two sides to every story

storytelling

I've been travelling for work and my 3g card that connects me to the interenet has broken.

Came home to loads of work emails and haven't been on flickr or blog.

Travelled down to Bristol with Laurie on the train ( 7 hour journey) to stay with my dad. laurie enjoyed seeing grandad while I traipsed around the country attending meetings...

Journey down was fine but journey back was a nightmaree for a kid with aspergers. We missed a connection due to a late train which arrived 'full and standing'!!!!! Grrrr

Had to stand in a packed corridor full of students shouting and laughing really loud - not their fault - they didn't know. Laurie got overloaded and was so desperate. He didn't have a meltdown but he just stood with his head down. Tears were pouring down his cheeks and I couldn't even comfort him as his sensitivities were so triggered that he couldn't bear to be touched. He describes it as being tingly...

We were three hours late but he was so delighted to be back home and with hector the wonderdog who was equally pleased...

He wont be going on a train any time soon.

In the meantime he's been writing a story on an old typewriter. We decided to make a story blog.

Here it is: http://demongate1.blogspot.com/

It is called demongate
and has a baddie called cyclonops who wants to take over the world...
Here is a drawing that he did to illustrate it...

He already has a couple of comments which is a great incentive for him to keep it up... thanks guys. I typed it in and changed a few spellings but the wording is all his own. He has an interesting way of expressing himself and I was surpised to see he started describing himself as a narrator who makes comments within the story...

thankings

not sure if all you guys who offer support and ideas look back but i often reply in comments...

so for those who may have missed my thanks/replys

VERY BIG THANKS - sure we are just at the beginning so stay with us

but I keep looking at my beautiful son in wonder and i am totallly convinced that asd is more a gift than anything else

and I am itching to convince the world...

this is called close
its about what happens when we connect...

celebratings

we have our diagnosis

we are all celebrating the news because for us it is a positive thing

this is called how do you make sense of the world



can't put a bigger version on this page as it messes up the right hand side of the page. The words say
you have no idea
what it means to be gifted with aspergers syndrome

see the National Autistic Society web site to read about the make school make sense campaign. I've written a letter to Alan Johnson, secretary of state for education and skills asking him to support the campaign.

washings

so funny to read your comments about the clothes thing. i've added a comment - from the heart...

it can take us up to an hour to get Laurie dressed depending on the softness, length of sleeves, fluffy bits and how much cotton an item has.

Can't believe that I seriously have conversations with my 9 year old about what percentage of cotton is in his clothes; )))

so funny but can be majorly frustrating when you have to go somewhere. i try to be patient...

hey the truant officer arrived today - now that was funny

totally unexpected he arrived on the doorstep. he actually was a nice guy doing a shit job.

i told him that we'd filled in the home ed forms and had the home ed person coming tomorrow for a visit.

i told him that we'd written to the education services about our decision.

there was no hint of 'you're breaking the law' although technically we are. he was fairly cool about it - went through the motions but it was clear he totally got why we were at this point. he said the system was based on 50's ideology which was no longer relevant - we can only agree...

so I wrote a curriculum out to show the home ed person. not expecting any problems - home ed is fine as long as he get's it 150% right first time!!!!

also the Steiner school rang to arange a meeting with us all - it will be on my birthday - so taking that as a good sign. if it comes off he will be in a class of 14! felt bad having to give her the background details of him, because of that bloody exclusion....grrrr, bitch and stuff


anyway we wait in hope but he is so much happier not having to do group work - although he turning into a fairly good cook working with me - will probably be a bit arsey though if he was a chef; )

this is what he looks like when he arsey

its called houdini blues after a favourite Kristen hersh track about labels

"Oh no don't you put me in that box
you know what you can do with those locks
bet your life I'll come crawling out again
you'll have to deal with me then
you'll hear me in the wind."

relievings

A wave of relief went through the house yesterday.

here is the entrance to our house - called main door


taken by Laurie

We had our second visit with the child and family heath team. Tim and I had our own psychiatrist and Laurie had his own; )

Laurie stayed with her for the whole hour - wont tell me anything about it so left wondering... he said he just drew while he talked - said he knew it was rude but he hates looking at people when he talks to them. How many people in the neurotypical world would be able to understand that. I know there are thousands of others that do...

We did the developmental stuff so they ask you about how imaginitive he is, when he walked and talked and stuff. I went all pathetic in front of the professional (it makes Tim laugh to see me and says it's because I'm a forelock tugging kind of girl; )

At one point I was really aware that my legs were shaking and it wasn't nerves - it was adrenaline. I was just so 'wired' that someone was finally really doing something for us. i wanted to make the best of it. Anyway still haven't told them the half of it, but I did ask if they felt it was appropriate to do an assessment for ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder). YES YES YES - I'm not just a mother making up excuses for my 'badly behaved manipulating controling monster son'.

It is really strange to feel so happy that they have started the assessment and clearly think there is a pressing need. You might wonder why we need this...

We have to has his needs recognised. We do not have any negative feelings about an ASD/Aspergers diagnosis. We know that people on the autistic spectrum are wired differently - and have a very different take on the world - a very rich take sometimes that most people don't take the time to consider. We know that his sensory perceptions can be a major problem but they are also a great blessing. Laurie hears music differently and has been able to recognise pieces of music since he was really small and even identify which films they may have featured in... He can mimic voices and accents perfectly. His memory is so acute that he can recount dialogue after only seeing a movie once. We have never had to practice a spelling list for homework. He does the 99 times table for fun. His sense of humour is strange but wonderful.

Shame no one else seems to appreciate this...

Another fantastic thing that has happened is that the fabulous people in the flickr autistic spectrum group are offering incredible support (as are people who are reading this blog).

Huge thanks to all of you guys - so needed and appreciated.

haven't got a bunch of flowers photo but do have a beautiful lily from china for all of you...



I have met a really great family through flickr who have been through as much and so much more than us. they have a blog too linked to at the side bar but the dog is the one that blogs regularly - joker the lurcher. Laurie has been looking at their photos and I've explained that there are loads of other kids who have very well developed senses. He is most intrigued and would like to meet some.

next job - contact the glasgow autism support group....

such a long post today but guess what - another amazing thing happened. I sent an email last week in my depths of despair after the exclusion to our Member of Scottish Parliament (MSP) Gordon Jackson. I was expecting a standard letter in response but he actually rang me yesterday to offer support when needed. well done that man - you can share the lily.

So some faith in human nature restored...
Some validation of us as parents with concerns...
Some new friendships developing...

We are counting ourselves lucky today.

we are very well aware that we are only at the start of a major quest/journey. ..

hectorings

hector the rescue dog.

the sweetest natured dog on the planet and so what we need...

hector


What a day...
Had our first visit to the family and child health psychiatric unit. met a nice woman called Dianne. Laurie actually spoke to her so she's started building a picture. I was so aware of all our body language (read too much of course so worried every time he chewed his fingers). I cried (surprise surprise at the moment). Laurie held it back but did get very overwhelmed talking about all his sad and angry feelings. I said sorry for crying in the car on the way back (because I don't want him blaming himself for me being sad) and he was so cool about it. he said ' that doesn't matter - I nearly cried too - it's OK to cry'.

I was so proud of him. Still worrying about her conclusions (so bizarre) that someone who has studied a bit can make desisions that affect our lives.

Anyway we went to the park with hector afterwards and let him off his lead for the first time. he loved playing with a ball and laurie laughed so much. A major success.

We are going again to see Dianne on Thursday (without L) to fill her in on more details.

Thank god someone is on the case...

This is how happy my boy is...

hector the rescue dog