anticipatings...

I'm a bad blogger - just been incapacitated by huge overwhelming stuff...

Work has been a bit extreme as I just took on new stuff and I do have to try to be wonder woman.

In the middle of a two week break where I'm trying really hard to get things in perspective. Still wake at 5.00 worrying about al the things I haven't done yet!!!!

Get a grip Norma...

We've had some major movement re the schooling thing with Laurie. So tentatively hopeful but scared that it will all go pear shaped...

The Director of Special Needs came round to our house to discuss options for him. This is the plan...

He will enrol in a local school (recommended to us by someone who said the head teacher was amazing - if anyone can make inclusion work it's her). He wont just turn up this week but will have a phased transition (which does sound very plausable). He will get a personal tutor to help take the educational activity away from family and back to external educators. Then he will spend some time at the school in small bursts.

We haven't got a co-ordinated support plan but may get one at a later stage. Apparently he requires level 4 additional support needs (not a national measure).

We've explained the situation and driven past the school with him. His anxiety levels have, naturally increased, as have ours. We're walking on eggshells again!

He's still having CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) for anxiety but he is responding badly as he has to keep talking about his feelings, which is really difficult for him.

I told the psychiatrist that she was wrong to suggest that forcing him into uncontrolled environments to de-sensitize his sensory overloads would be beneficial!! Tim laughed at my presumptiousness - and tried to be diplomatic by suggesting that de-sensitize was the wrong word. She did agree with that and all ended harmoniously!!

I am such an arsey woman...

washings

so funny to read your comments about the clothes thing. i've added a comment - from the heart...

it can take us up to an hour to get Laurie dressed depending on the softness, length of sleeves, fluffy bits and how much cotton an item has.

Can't believe that I seriously have conversations with my 9 year old about what percentage of cotton is in his clothes; )))

so funny but can be majorly frustrating when you have to go somewhere. i try to be patient...

hey the truant officer arrived today - now that was funny

totally unexpected he arrived on the doorstep. he actually was a nice guy doing a shit job.

i told him that we'd filled in the home ed forms and had the home ed person coming tomorrow for a visit.

i told him that we'd written to the education services about our decision.

there was no hint of 'you're breaking the law' although technically we are. he was fairly cool about it - went through the motions but it was clear he totally got why we were at this point. he said the system was based on 50's ideology which was no longer relevant - we can only agree...

so I wrote a curriculum out to show the home ed person. not expecting any problems - home ed is fine as long as he get's it 150% right first time!!!!

also the Steiner school rang to arange a meeting with us all - it will be on my birthday - so taking that as a good sign. if it comes off he will be in a class of 14! felt bad having to give her the background details of him, because of that bloody exclusion....grrrr, bitch and stuff


anyway we wait in hope but he is so much happier not having to do group work - although he turning into a fairly good cook working with me - will probably be a bit arsey though if he was a chef; )

this is what he looks like when he arsey

its called houdini blues after a favourite Kristen hersh track about labels

"Oh no don't you put me in that box
you know what you can do with those locks
bet your life I'll come crawling out again
you'll have to deal with me then
you'll hear me in the wind."

happenings

at last

I feel able to blog...

disabled (I chose that word carefully) by my guilt and terrible state of mind I was unable to post for the last two days.

How very interesting - blogging as a reflection of the darkness of your soul... maybe I'll muse more on that in a future blog but it does very well reflect the 'forelock tugging' Lou that Tim sometimes gently laughs at.

So there we were...

faced with the big decision - to return to the existing school or try out a new one. our weekend was wrought with angst.. I set a deadline (as I am wont to do)...

we struggled, prevaricated, cogitated and eventually...

wimped out...

can you believe it (I can hear a few gasps)...

but wait...

so we decided that the new school in exactly the same format as the old one wouldn't work.
we cant go to the Steiner school that we do like until august.
we have to get by till august.

so we decided to go with the flow and try to send him back (bear with me guys cause there is a temporarily happy ending here).

So we broke the news to laurie and he dealt with it well - understanding that we had to make it through this term and then all would be better!!!!

Laurie and I walked down to the school on Monday and went inside the building ( the psychiatrist somehow felt this was really significant). I knew it wasn't because it wasn't that hard for him to do. It's not the building that causes him pain - it's the CHILDREN.

Tuesday (today) we dutifully followed instructions and turned up to have a chat with his teacher. He was cool about that and took some photos of his flickr art and of hector to show his teacher.

Oh no ----- ambush

unprepared and without ammunition we were caught in a room for an hour with the bloody headmistress and his teacher...

for an hour we were treated to a monologue about behaviour, rules and her authority.

Laurie understood about 40% of what she said which I did find an amazing percentage because whilst it was happening I estimated 20%. God she was so tedious... The teacher didn't get a word in edgeways.

Apparently the kids all call him a girl because of his hair (well blow me down!). Of course they don't mean to be horrid. They didn't realise - ah bless!!!!

What about the 'Laurie the loser' nickname - oh well some of the children said that when Laurie didn't 'get his own way' in group work and got upset he would call himself a loser ---

as I said in my reply to their exclusion report 'it is hardly surprising that he refers to himself in this way given that he has been persistantly called this for over a year by his peers' (mummy rant mode coming on)

so I sat and let her harangue him. She made him cry (she made me cry). she made us both very very angry...

we left saying we'd come into school tomorrow at 9.00.



OK so you can kick us when we are down but don't think we will lie down forever. I feel bad that I let her do that to us today. Where is the lioness that sarah mentions?


They paid no heed to his needs. They did not acknowledge his sensory overload issues.
I mentioned that the children banged on the tables when the teacher had an important announcement. I said that laurie did not understand this and that it hurt his ears.

I told them that I had suggested to laurie that it may be intended to be like a drumroll. His teacher said that it was and he was prepared to change this. The headmistress said that it was a standard method for getting the attention of children and to focus them to hear important announcements.

I let him and all kids with sensory overload down - I didn't say ' this would have the opposite effect on children who had sound sensitivity issues'. She told the teacher she would talk to him later and it was clear she was not prepared to change this practice for one kid - particularly one who blatently defies her and doesn't recognise her authority.

by the way woman - I did mention the words autistic spectrum disorder. He is being assessed for asd you know...

Well the lioness is prowling now and so is Tim the lion.

We are not sending him back...

they, and the educational psychologist and the child psychiatric team can all take a flying leap.

we know it is not OK to send him back.

The school now know that we are appealing against the exclusion ( and she has all her guns out) - met someone who works in the school who agreed re asd but couldn't talk about it with me. How neat it would be for them if they 'bent over backwards to accomodate' laurie and then had the opportunity to exclude him again before the hearing.

so bend over mrs headmistress... if I was any good at cartoons I would do one...

we are standing together on this one. We don't quite know how we will do this yet but we know we will.

Here is picture of a lioness to prove it...

and I finally did the unthinkable and am signed off on sick leave for stress for two weeks.

relief...